Does your dog wonder why you don’t pee outside? Do paws smell like corn chips or do corn chips smell like paws? Why was Clifford so damn big and red? Find out the answers to these questions and more in the latest installment of dog horoscopes.
Oh hello there, Pugs and Poodles. Things are about to get spookier than a grocery bag in the breeze as the sun moves into Scorpio. But no need to whimper by the door, we can help you prepare for your pup’s Scorpio season with this month’s horoscopes.
Scorpio
It’s time for your dog to get organized. They’re craving a little structure and looking to you to deliver. Start by untangling their leash, giving them a bath, and putting away their toys. Will they take all the toys out right after you put them away? Probably. But we’ve done crazier things for our dogs, right?
Sagittarius
With the Aries moon approaching, this month marks an increase in your dog’s confidence and a new beginning for their social life. Last month, they may have been lingering by the edges of the dog park, but now they’re ready to romp. It’s time for them to grab life by the tennis balls! Make sure you give them space to get their paws dirty.
Capricorn
Your dog needs a job... or at least a hobby. Their professional ambitions are at an all time high this month and they crave fulfilling their puppyhood dreams. If you’ve ever considered training your pup to be a therapy dog, now’s the time. They will thrive on the new responsibility. If nothing else, teach them a new trick – something that will impress the Pomeranian down the street.
Aquarius
Your pup is at a crossroads - to be a good dog or a… not so good dog. It’s a crisis of identity and they need your support! Now’s the time to double down on the positive reinforcement. Grab a treat (or maybe the whole bag, or four!) and get to training because you’ve got to get this dog on the straight and narrow before Mercury stations retrograde!
Pisces
Let’s get glamorous! Your pup is ready to drop their dollars to feel and look their best. And by “their dollars,” we obviously mean yours. Unless, of course, your dog is like Air Bud or some other pooch with a steady income. You know who we hear has really chic walk gear? It’s us. You probably guessed what we were getting at, huh?
Aries
Your dog needs some alone time. We’re not suggesting you limit the pats or scratches, but if they’re taking a little snooze on their own, maybe let ‘em be. They need their beauty rest and time to recuperate from their busy lives being your best friend.
Taurus
This season is all about your pup’s daily routine. Set the groundwork for a peaceful Mercury retrograde with regular walks and play sessions. This is also a wonderful time for your dog to feel a part of a team. They will be super keen to join the big romps at the dog park, so let ‘em loose!
Gemini
Hope you’re ready for a little passion in your life. The Aries full moon is going to awaken your dog’s long-repressed desires. You know that Yorkie they’ve had their eye on at the dog park? Well it’s not just puppy love anymore. Sometimes a butt sniff is more than just a butt sniff, if you catch our drift.
Cancer
Is there someone that your dog’s been feuding with? A cat? A squirrel? The mailman? As the sun enters Scorpio, they’ll be ready to extend an olive branch (or a big stick, as the case may be). Peaceful times are upon you and your pup, making this the perfect time to introduce new friends into your lives.
Leo
As Mars moves into their 7th house of communication, your dog might be a little noisier than usual. Boofs, barks, whimpers, whines… they’re the only tools they have to try and tell you something. What are they saying? We don’t know. We speak cosmos, not dog. One tip: maybe warn your neighbors.
Virgo
There is an influx of positive energy in the ether for your dog. They’re about to feel like they can do anything. Woohoo! This is the perfect time for them to embark on an adventure, take a risk, make a new friend, or learn a snazzy trick. The world is their dog bowl! Just don’t forget to keep us updated on the shenanigans you two get up to.
Libra
Has your dog been feeling some post-birthday blues? Listen, we’ve all been there. Make sure they know their snoot is just as cute as it was a year ago. Like people or a fine wine, dogs only get better with age. Treat them to something special, such as a new toy (possibly filled with peanut butter) to make them feel young again.